OK, OK!

I know, I know. Nobody’s THAT busy. I suppose I just haven’t had much to say lately. Not that I do now.

Also, I’m feeling a little self-conscious. You see, I’ve discovered that people actually READ these things! Yes, it’s true. As a matter of fact, I read on my friend’s mom’s blog, that she reads mine and enjoys it. The crazy thing? We’ve never met! Hello to you, Terrin’s mom…and welcome to my life. Speaking of Terrin, she categorizes my blog as, “A blog of great interest.” Well Terrin, that's a little over the top, don't you think?

Then there are the lurkers…like my mother-in-law and Heather. No blog of their own, but extensive reminding that I haven’t written in awhile. Seems like a double standard to you, too?

I’ve identified that the most intimidating part of all this is that it’s my new husband’s family (immediate and extended) that follow it the most. That means I have to behave. Right now, they are somewhat disillusioned to who I am…or are they??

I was listening to a sermon this weekend at Stewy’s homecoming (more on that later). The speaker reminded us of who we are in Christ and while I didn’t necessarily agree with everything he said, it was a great reminder to me that I will be who I think I am. So often, I dwell on the evil parts of me, and spend time hoping and dreading when everyone else will see me for who I really am. I find myself wishing that others weren’t so perfect…so that I wouldn’t have the pressure to be so ‘perfect’, too. I know that everyone makes mistakes, but I find myself feeling relieved sometimes when I notice Stewy’s shortcomings. Not that I want him to mess up, but it relieves the guilt of my own mistakes. I recognize that I am my own worst critic…and that no one knows what’s in my head…but does that mean I should be less hard on myself, or does that encourage me to continue to strive to be the person I want myself to be? I think it’s healthy to learn about ourselves so that we can recognize what God wants us to work on, but on the other hand, I agree with the speaker in that we need to keep our failures in perspective: the amount of time that I spend ‘sinning’ is so desparately small in comparison to the amount I spend serving God. I have to remember that I’m serving and I’m praising, and I will make mistakes…but the focus for me should be less on the mistakes and more on increasing the praise.